I recently had the opportunity to borrow those movies called: “Being Dad”. I was very positively surprised by the first one, but it also raised a whole lot of questions in me.
The movie shows three or four groups of men talking about their experiences and it is really relaxed and, I think, quite honest talk. It also shows the producer’s own journey as his wife is pregnant as they are filming and we actually see the birth of their daughter. The question it raised in me though is this: what is shown in this movie is very mainstream and is what’s likely to happen to a lot of people. In that way I think it is really valuable. But on the other hand by showing this view, I feel like it also confirms that this is normal and how birth is! And it is not!
I wonder if there is a way we can honour couples with the real picture and at the same time make them realise that this is not what birth is actually supposed to be like. It is not supposed to have bright lights, it is not supposed to be dominated by medical equipment, monitors, gas, epidurals and vacuum extractions. This should be extreme cases only. But it isn’t. This is very normal particularly in the cities. So do we do ‘parents to be’ a favour by showing this real stuff or are we just helping Obstetricians do what they do? It is a little bit like the question of whether you talk about and prepare for pain or not. I would love to hear what other people think about this!